When I Grow Up ...

As kids, we all talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up.  A doctor, a lawyer, a rocket scientist, a mom/dad, a spider (God love my son!) ...  how many of us became what we wanted to be back then?

My posts of late have been about change - Lord knows there's been a lot of it in my life over the last couple of years, and there is more to come, I know.  A small one recently is I'm now a year older.  Oh, the joy ...  They say every day above ground is a good day, and while that's true, the idea of getting older sure isn't sitting well with me lately, for some reason.  I mentioned earlier that The Marine is trying to figure out what he wants to be now that he's been "redeployed to the civilian sector", and The Princess has finally made the decision to go to college and pursue her dream, too.  Well, count me among those who are pursuing their 'grown-up' dreams -- I'm going back to college!  I have quite a few hours already under my belt, so I'm not a true freshman (Sophomore and A Third <gg>), but I sure feel like one!  I started college back in 19<mumble mumble) with the goal of going into what was at the time called Criminology.  Of course, as will happen nearly 100% of the time, Life interfered with my plan and I didn't finish my degree.  Now that I can once again think about what I want to be when I grow up, I'm going back to my original goal.  I will be attending a local university in Spring 2014 to pursue a Criminal Justice degree with a dual in Forensics.  Even though Life interrupted me the last time around, it's turned out to be a blessing, because where I am now puts me in a much better position to move forward at a better pace than I would have back then.  My job is directly across the street from my soon-to-be school, and that school happens to be one of the top 2 or 3 in the US for Forensics.  The university has partnered with my employer for several years now to teach and train students in all aspects of criminal justice and forensics, and the program is top-notch.  I told my boss this week (after my acceptance letter arrived) what my plans were and she is very excited for me.  She's already got me doing my practicum there and is giving me pointers on how to get through the entire program a little faster (intersession courses, etc.). :)  Like I said, I'm in a GREAT position to move forward on this now.  God sure does know what he's doing, doesn't he?

I have to admit, though, one thing I have to question God on is the purpose behind my having to take a math class.  I can do accounting all day long, but if you give me "A+B=?", I'll give you the blankest, most-dumbfounded look you've ever seen.  I absolutely STINK at algebra, etc., but I *have* to have this math class!  ARRRGGHHH!  I'm checking out all my preparatory options - study guides, practice tests, The Princess' brain (she's brilliant at math), Khan Academy ... - and PRAYING LIKE CRAZY that I will pass this course!!  Just one semester, just one class - please, God, get me through it with a passing grade (the higher, the better).  I promise I'll work my butt off, but I'd appreciate it if you'd meet me there in the middle somewhere ...

I've had a LOT of support in my decision - my family is thrilled and my friends are so excited for me.  My coworkers have also been very encouraging -- as long as I'm not leaving my job. ;)  One even put his head in his hands and said "oh, thank goodness!" when I confirmed that I was staying at the Bureau while I go to school!  Affirmation is a wonderful thing, isn't it??  I've been quite surprised at the outpouring of support.  There are some that I knew would be behind me 100%, no question, but the encouragement from so many others has been quite a pleasant surprise.  I think I talked myself out of reaching just a little further, going for the dream that seemed like its time had passed.  But a lot of soul-searching has given me back that "go for it" attitude.  Have you talked yourself back from the edge of a dream?  If so, maybe it's time to revisit that dream, see if you can make it real.  I wouldn't have thought I'd be a 46 year old sophomore in college, and yet ....  The idea of change, especially major change, scares a lot of people, I know.  But big rewards come from taking big chances.  Could I fail?  Absolutely.  Will I just sit back and let it happen without doing everything in my power to stop it?  Absolutely NOT.  It's time for me to take that big chance and see what I can really do.  Who's with me?

Until next time, y'all, be blessed ...